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This “film” is fishing bull-Jesus
Author: Subversive-Commie from United States
2 January 2013
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
I use the term “film” loosely when describing this mess of a project. You can almost tell it was shot with the intention of creating a watchable movie, however everything about this steaming pile suggests otherwise. The “G-Rated” version I watched was laughable in itself: The “f*ck”s where replaced with “Fish” and the “sh*ts” were replaced with “Jesus” Cleavage, clothed bottoms, and simulated masturbation were blocked out with an annoying orb that never really blocked out anything.
I think it’s safe to say this “film” is fishing bull-Jesus.
To understand why this thing reeks of Jesus we must first peer into the twisted mind of the director himself: George Anton. Chances are you stumbled across this gem on Youtube, where Anton has his own channel showcasing his… “indie” films. His logo is a near replica of the “Universal Studios” logo. Question him on this odd coincidence and he’ll give some half-assed excuse and, if you’re lucky, he’ll insult your mother. Any negative comment on his video is instantly deleted and replaced with a comment by George Anton about how awesome George Anton is.
So, now that we got to know our director lets travel through the bowels of this masterpiece. What we’re shown is akin to a foreigner’s idea of “making it big in Hollywood” Our characters are models, producers, agents, actresses and… the mafia? Yes, “THE Mafia”. The jist of the storyline is about a photographer who owes “the mafia” money due to a gambling problem. This same photographer takes head-shots of women for the mafia…? The leader of “the mafia” is a sleazy, yet wealthy scumbag who has three women all over him at once, coo-ing about how awesome their threesomes are and resulting in some of the most mind-numbing scenes even shot on camera. I think the director fails to understand what a “G-Rating” even means.
We are further introduced to an array of similarly idiotic characters that end up having no real effect on the course of events. I really don’t recommend this to anyone who has eyes.
Budget $203,000 ?!
Author: Jon Death from United States
6 July 2012
First of all, take a zero off that estimated budget. That gives us a realistic figure. Secondly, take another zero off to convey how dreadful this movie is!
First, the editing. The editing is very jagged and no exaggeration, looks like the student films I see produced by 7th and 8th graders. Yes, pre-high school level cinematography and editing. The footage also looks like the modern day soft core films that somehow still manage to find both investors and an audience. If this weren’t true, they wouldn’t still be getting made.
Second, the acting. Some of the actors are actually good. Most of them are actually bad. All of them are unlikely to ever get a respectable job after this.
Third, the writing. Well, it’s written by the same guy that wrote such hits as Fitness and Fun. A show where celebrities stop by to workout I guess only…none of the cast listed are actually celebrities and for the life of me, I can not find any copies of it. All too shockingly, this master of the pen also directed this amazing piece of cinematography.
All in all, it’s still bad enough that you just can not stop watching! The pace is good and there’s a bunch of stories smeared into one. Everything is so completely random and casual it inspires you to believe that YES! You too could make a mediocre film that nobody but your friends, family and local small town residents will ever see.
Every so often, I see movies with this horrific quality of production that are actually very good. This simply isn’t one of them but it’s actually worth watching! It’s just so ridiculously bad that it’s fun.
Very useful movie for Hollywood agents
Author: the_wolf_imdb from Prague
10 March 2014
Seriously, the credits are “never to be hired” list of folks. Please avoid every single of them as they have zero talent. Not a single participant had any quality. I mean I saw several birthday home videos that had better plot, better effects and way better technical quality. I saw better combat scenes over a dish of smashed potatoes in a kindergarten. I have serious doubts that my own cat could write better script than this. It is really worse than just a random collection of lines! I have to point out the incredible lows of technical quality of the movie. If this should be remembered for some reason it is its incredibly poor sound quality. It is technically very pathetic. The “sound engineer” probably never mixed even his home sound tapes as he does not know very basic rules of his art.
The guy responsible for the sound track must be on drugs or mentally retarded or something like that. There is not a single moment where the incredibly poor music soundtrack would match what is going on on the screen. The audio cuts are absolutely abrupt, the best way how to describe this mess is a mixed salad or something like that.
The “G” rated “fishing” version is especially bizarre. The only real reason behind this pile of steaming cr*p is that the director probably needed an excuse for audition of some chicks. Well I can see that. Some of them are not half bad. But all the technical folks should be blacklisted forever. Now.